A Woman, her Body Image, and her Clothes...

 Hello to you all!! I have a confession to make..in all of my housewifey goodness now..I have reignited my addiction to a show that comes on every day at 3pm..it is called Shopping Queen and every week it is set in a different city here in Germany and 5 women are given a theme, 500 Euros, 4 hours time and then they rate each other for points..blah blah blah..and at the end of the week the winner gets a certain amount of Euro for her style sense..So..all of this talk and visions of clothing ..plus the fact that I am super ready to switch out my fall-winter closets for my spring-summer closets but the weather is not playing nicely..BUT with the changes in my body-both with loss of inches and pounds from my new Herbalifestyle I took the time today to dig a few items out of the back of drawers and closets that I couldn't bear to part with even thought my po was no where in the neighborhood to fit into any of these clothes..the jeans for example..a size 4, made out of real demin (without elastic, spandex..whatever is in almost every pair of jeans made today it seems)..these are my favorite pair but I have been unable to squeeze my fat butt into them for over a year now..they will however stay on the hanger until I reach 68 kgs..the bathing suit..even though it is a 1 piece it still looks hot on..when you don't look like a big ol stuffed sausage in it like I did last time I wore it..not to mention not being able to take a deep breath..talk about embarassing..this will be worn this summer and it will look good..how can it not when not stretched to the limits at the seams..it is a Victoria's Secret for goodness sake..and yes, I will be ordering 2 new ones this year..Bikinis.. thank you!! The sweet denim skirt, love this piece-totally flexible to dress up or down..that is when you can zip it up..The 2 dresses..one has never been worn as I bought it right before I moved..and then it was suddenly 30 degrees cooler, and as far as a place to wear it out..well, even though it fits once more we will still have to work on that one..the green one was an online purchase..great for the holidays ..when your arms are not flapping in the wind like you are trying to fly..this problem is also being solved and muscle tone is now the rule rather than the exception!! 
As I am doing all of this reorganization of my clothes, my mindset, my eating habits, and my body..and the self image and confidence that comes along with it..I cannot help but asking..How exactly did this happen?? How did I go from a size 0 to a size 10 in the span of about 
4.5 years?? and why is that when women do tend to gain weight they just quit looking in mirrors that go say beyond mid chest?? I know when I took my before pics 6 weeks ago I was motified..and I do mean mortified..who was that person in the pictures?? When did this happen?? At least I feel like that is what I did..and why do the people that are with us everyday not say anything as we sit for hours putting crap like chips or chocolate into our mouths day in and day out?? Don't get me wrong..I am firmly against women and girls walking around looking like you can break them like a match stick because they are so thin..but healthy needs to be the norm..whatever that may be for each of us as individuals..for example..me at a size 0 or 2 was wayyyy too thin but I think a size 4 to 6 will be perfect for my body type...for someone else it may be an 8 or 12...granted all designers are a bit different when it comes to sizes..and for those of us that live in Europe we go by numbers such as 34, 38, and 40..As I generally save my shopping sprees for when I am on US ground (favorite shopping companion is my Mom--as we have the same theory that you have to spend money to save money!!) I go by US sizes.. This journey I have been on since starting FluffyseeksFirm has been crazy, I have tried all sorts of eating plans, changes, exercise routienes, not eating, gave up about 7 times..but then decided that I owed it to myself, my husband, and my family to get healthy and happy..At this point I am excited as my wardrobe is about to double in size..not because I am going shopping without a spending limit but because I can fit into clothes that I haven't been able to wear for a tad longer than a minute..and I have to tell you..it is an awesome feeling!!