Sometimes you just need to get really pissed off.....to realize it really isn't doing any good!!

Good morning all..it has been a couple of weeks now since I have written, I would like to say that I have been hard at work but that is only half true as I ended up catch a nasty viral infection and have spent most of this week isolated from the general public..now this has 2 sides..some would say good as it put a screaming halt to my insane schedule and since the Dr. I saw wrote me out of work until this coming Monday I have no choice but to rest and take care of myself..for me this means that even though I am definantly not healthy enough to be around others  I have invested a lot of time in thinking and evaluating..which has lead to me getting some things done..like work for my course, lots and lots of journaling, reading my Bible, reading I think 3 books at this point and thinking about the disorganization of some areas of my life..which are unfortunantly areas that I have absolutely no control over..they are..for the most part.. based on other people's actions but still have a huge impact on my stress level. I know some of you are thinking..well, just don't let it concern you but sometimes when things are so close you cannot just blow it off and not think about it..but after getting really upset about things last night, getting some advice from a good friend and my parents and journaling like a mad woman this morning I have come to realize that perhaps my seemingly regular bouts of raging about these particular topic(s) are not going to change a thing...and that from now on instead of sharing my stress and anger I will turn these basically completely unproductive feelings into actions..actions that make me a better..and dare I say it?? more mature.. person instead of the stressed out, sometimes not so nice person that I see more often than not now. This negative energy will be channeled into more spritual growth and physical activity..which has been next to nothing on my schedule now for over a week ( the physical part)..I know, could be part of the problem..right?? and creativity of some sort..writing, crafts, something. ..I have always been taught through the years in various settings that when we attempt to grow closer to God that the devil will fight us more and more. I had made a choice and commitment several months ago to do this..to start a prayer journal, read the Bible, worship more..even though there is really no support basis for any of that where I live now..and I have to say some days I feel strong and ready to fight and sometimes it is a real struggle..like yesterday. But, today is a new day..a day to start over and thank God for a new beginning..a new chance to fight the devil off and become the person God is working on shaping to be who he wants me to be..In my readings this morning I came across this passage....

Jeremiah 29:11
For know the thoughts and plans I have for you says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace, and not for evil, to give you hope for your final outcome.

For me this passage was put in front of me not by accident, but to help me shake the feelings of negativity off and start fresh this morning..
and if that was not enough I came across this little nugget also...

Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.-Pema Chödrön

So..readers of Fluffy....for those of you who have your own struggles I wish you peace and strength because sometimes this life can really be a challenge..I hope you find what works for you to refocus on what is important and to keep stress and negative reactions to a minimum.