Reflections of the past 2 weeks and those that inspire...

Good Morning all..working on being home for the third day..my sleep wake cycle continues to be all messed up..awake most of the night and going to sleep when I should be waking up and getting the day started..I have to admit, this is the first  time in a long while I am really grateful that I do not have to wake up and be somewhere..;D. I was introduced to an online radio broadcast while in the states...Pandora..which of course was not available once I arrived back in Deutschland but I have found Live 365..same concept and an awesome places to listen to all of the Praise and Worship music that I want..a great way to spend the day instead of the boob tube on in the background..even though I have only been back from the states for a short time I have to say that I miss the connections that I made and reignited while there with other women...amazing Christian women with whom I was able to open up to and share the deepest feelings and emotions without any thought of being judged or critizied..not women who are perfect but so full of love and grace..true blessings in my life. People ask what I miss about being back in the states and of course I miss being close to my family..that goes without saying but what I miss most outside of my own flesh and blood is the connection that I had with other women and the ability to worship with my hands held high..singing with a great praise and worship band and the feeling that comes with it..that God is right there with you and all is possible. Somewhere along the line I had lost sight of that feeling and it had been weighing so very heavy on my heart before I took this trip back..yes, I was there for work but God made it about so much more than that, none of what happened there was by accident..the people I met, the music that we listened to every morning, the church we visited, the woman of strength that I picked out that night to pray with whose circumstances are so similar to mine, touching base with an old friend, the conversations, the prayers, the feeling of having my breath taken away from pride in my youngest child, spending time with my family, learning to look at things in a more positive light...All of this and so much more..even though I had to get up in front of a group of people and speak..my absolute worst fear..the past 2 weeks have been NOTHING but a blessing anda door that God opened for me just in time..For those of you who have followed Fluffy for awhile you know I had been just spinning around and around searching for something, anything to ease the feelings of stress, pain, anxiety, lonliness, and disappointment in my life..well, I am super happy to report that all of the above did it..the circumstances have not changed but through God and those who he saw fit to place in my life..some just for this short period of time, some of who are destined to become long time fixtures in my life..my attitude is completely different, my outlook is different, and for the first ime in who knows how long I can say that I know, really know that all will be okay..the things that will take place will not be in my time, not on my schedule but in his time ..when he sees fit..he knows above all when we need to go through things..both good and bad..and even though sometimes we as humans with the need to control cannot see past the immediate situations, so caught up on the hamster wheel of life..It is such a blessing to understand once more that he has this, he is in control and that I (we) can focus on living a life for him and that this world is not about us...but being a reflection of his love and grace. Helping others and having a sense of humility..to make what we have around us better...Yesterday I had a message from a young woman that I had the priviledge of working with previously that said that my messages and post inspire her to do the best that she can..what is so amazing about this is that she has no idea how much she and many of those in her age group (as I am of course older...:D) that I get to work with inspire me in the same way..I look at these young people who are starting out, have young children, or even yet to get to that point and they are organized, working towards a goal, going to school, so full of life..just like last week when I had the honor to attend my son's graduation from Basic Training..Army of course..for those of you who did not know!!..it was so breath taking to see hundreds of these young men and women..the 1% of the American population who are a part of something something so much bigger than themselves..it is not just this group, both of my son's have young women in their lives who I admire, 1 who I have just met and am in awe of and 1 who has been part of our lives for several years now..who I have watch grow and mature and even though it has not always been easy for her I am grateful as she has stuck by my oldest thru thick and thin..So dear readers..I wish you all a day filled with blessings and patience..I know had hard it can be sometimes..just keep 1 thing in mind..If God sees fit to bring us to it, he will indeed bring us through it!!!