Insightfulness..always a good thing??

.ö---öä------Good Morning everyone..the writing to the left is Marli's contribution to today's post..one more up before everyone else,and am getting super used to it..reminds me of  before Matthias and I were married and I would wake up 2 to 3 hours before I had to go to work so I could have a couple of hours to myself..funny how as I am making a concious effort to regain my source of calm and activity searching to find my place of center..that solitude would be such a large part of the process..and what is also interesting is that I am taking this journey at this time in my life, my kids are adults, I am for once not having to go to work everyday and stress over every dime, and I have everything that I could possibly want..outside of living closer to my family that is..oh, and having an awesome church community close by where I can worship..but have hopefully located a church, will be checking it out when I return from Kaiserslautern. I am hoping that it is a good fit as I am missing that part of my life quite a bit as we speak, as Matthias has been saying a lot over the past few months ..I cannot seem to find my inner calm..but with continued efforts and changes that I am making hopefully that will change over the course of the next several months..funny how things really are never better on the other side of the fence, here I am married to a man that makes sure we have everything we need and want but with the culture differences, no matter how hard I try here it never seems to be enough..what came easy to me in my previous life like finding a job, having good friends to connect with and be really open with,  having a place to worship..are not so easy here, as an outsider..things seem to have to be a fight every step of the way..and I think over the course of the last 2.5 years my gas tank is definantly on the empty side..that is the reason , I believe that I find myself in the middle of this search for not only a sense of calm and peace but perhaps also on a journey to redefine myself in these surroundings, in this situation. I am at the point that I do not know what the answers are, where to find the solutions..I pray everyday for God to give me the strength I need to get through the days and to give me an attitude of grace and gratitude and I know through experience through him all things are indeed possible and that we will never be placed in a situation that we do not have what it takes..because of him to get through it but sometimes it can be pretty darned difficult and frustrating in the process..
I know that new Years resolutions are generally made and disregarded a few days or weeks later but this year I feel the need to compile a list of changes to be made and while I am at it..the urge to compile a Bucket list has also been in the back of my mind..so will work on these today, get on the scale and take some measurements..with the new year coming and spring along with it it is time for Fluffy to refocus on what Fluffyseeksfirm was started for..a journey to a healthier, happier life..Please continue on this journey with me, as I grow and redefine who I am as a person, spritually, professionally..